This is Me

Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.
Proverbs 25:28 (Read all of Proverbs 25)New International Version

This sadly I relate to all too well. I have found myself being a city broken down and without defense. I have fallen in to the trap of feeling "comfort" in my life. I've allowed myself for far too long to make bad choices. I am at a very critical point in my life now where I am faced with some major lifestyle changes. Taking them lightly is not in my plans. My walls are in need of being rebuilt and if I go about it the wrong way they'll just fall down again just as easy as my life was with no self-control in it. Considering these things I am struggling with are personal I won't mention them but reflecting on them here helps me. I know my friends and family care about me, it has helped to have support from my family.

I think that there can be good to come from this. Making healthy choices and wanting to rebuild and strengthen myself is a positive. Some of the things I have been working are the 4 overall areas of the medicine wheel:

• Physical: my plan to improve here is to workout, for too long I have neglected doing physical things. I want to go for more walks, ride my bike, do weights, eat healthier, drink more water and just not sitting around on the computer.


• Spiritual: attend church more, daily prayer, devotional, reading my bible more, connecting more with pure elements of life so I can have strength to deal with temptations


• Mental: studying, working on improving professional, reading more books related to education, doing what I can to grow my mind in areas that can benefit my career, marriage, and help my skills in photography and with things I am interested in.


• Emotional: here is where I need a lot of work, I have lots of "stuff" that has followed me around for years, before I was married and back to when I was a kid, "stuff" that needs to be worked through before I can strengthen myself I need to get emotionally healthy or none of this will be of any use.

I am a great procrastinator - a pro at it. However, I have kept putting all of these rebuilding activities off for so long. It's "DUMB" because I have known for years these changes needed to be made. I blame myself for not making them, it's time for me to create this change. I feel that deleting facebook, myspace and limiting my internet exposure has been the best thing for me. I find myself with more time, time I've needed to reflect, pray and think. It's so easy to escape life. A person can do it in so many ways. I think internet, television, video games, movies and so much more are ways I can escape and not face my problems. Much like someone uses drugs I used distractions to keep me from reflecting and changing for the better.

Right now I don't want to just focus on my own personal problems. I know they seem HUGE to myself, but in truth there are some larger problems that deserve prayer and your positive thoughts. My Mother-inlaw is dealing with health issues. I just found out tonight that she can not have an operation she needs. I really hope she can improve for she is still young and I want her to be around as long as she can. Also, my Auntie Rona is dealing with her health now too. She has been in the hospital and is dealing with some really tough issues. I hope that you can remember them in your thoughts and prayers, they need them more.